Suffice to say, Hard Rock Hallelujah is the new Finnish national anthem.
This is, however, bad news for Lordi. They've peaked. Their new found euronational fame will consume them. Ultimately, the band will fall apart and album sales will dwindle to Corey Feldman numbers.
The good news is that this is utterly preventable. A band member throws a tantrum and leaves the band? No worries. Much like Van Halen remained a successful (if suckier) band when Sammy Hagar replaced David Lee Roth, it's merely a matter of finding the right person for the job. I happen to have the perfect replacements lined up already.
Following these suggestions, I'm confident Lordi will continue to be successful for years to come.
The first replacement is...Fidel Castro.
(Castro is the guy in the middle.)
To be continued...
