So I saw The Da Vinci Code the other night. 2.5 hours in a movie theater, and my ass hurt. I suspect there's correlation between the two. Anyway, the movie was alright for what it was. Ron Howard has done better flicks.
I've read the book, and a few of Dan Brown's other novels, and color me unimpressed. Honestly, I have no idea what the controversy is about. Brown writes B-rate conspiracy thrillers. They are decent reads, but clearly not the second coming of Christ...okay, poor choice of metaphor. My bad.
It seems as if it doesn't take a whole lot to become a famous author these days. Witness the Dan Brown model for sucess:
1. Write bad novel, pretend that it's been thoroughly researched and based on facts
2. Throw in a bit of Jesus in such a manner so as to piss off the Catholic Church
3. Laugh all the way to the bank
Even I could pull that off! So, without further ado, I proudly present the synopsis for my own novel:
JESUS vs. PREDATOR
Remnants of an ancient alien race lies buried beneath the icy surface of Antarctica. A team of archeologists, to be played by Playboy playmates in the movie adaptation, discovers them and unwittingly unleashes unmitigated evil upon earth; evil the likes of which mankind has never seen, at least not since Steven Seagal's last movie.
Only one man, and one man only, can defeat this evil. That man is Pat Robertson. He prays a hurricane to Antarctica, which destroys all aliens and magically makes all homosexuals straight. The day has been saved, praise the lord!
Okay, you might say that there's nothing particularly offensive to Christians, Catholic or otherwise, in that synopsis.
But I would think considering Pat Robertson to be Christian is as offensive as it gets.
