WHERE IS THE BOMB?!??!?

Fifth time is apparently the charm if you're Kiefer "Jack Bauer" Sutherland. He'd been nominated for an acting Emmy five years in a row for his role in 24, but lost out the first four times. This time around, however, he managed to win!
The show also received an award for best drama series. About time too that 24 receives some recognition. There are (far too) many of these serialized drama-thrillers on TV these days, that is series whose episodes aren't self-contained but rather small parts of a larger, long-term plot, stretching out over one or several seasons. Lost and Prison Break are other good examples. But 24 is truly the grand-daddy of the genre, and five seasons running, no one does it better.
Congrats to The Kiefer!

A is A

Growing up, there are certain things you learn to take for granted. The earth is round^[1], one plus one is two, Finland doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of winning the Eurovision song contest, Oceania has always been at war with Eurasia, and so on. One of those things you learn at an early age is that our solar system has nine planets.
Well, turns out our solar system only has eight planets. Pluto has been voted off the island, so to speak.
Pluto was, when first discovered in 1930, considered a planet, because the most accurate equipment and calculations at the time pegged Pluto to be of approximately the same size as planet Earth. As measurements have become more precise, however, Pluto's size has decreased to the point where it's smaller than our moon. And we just can't have that, can we? Some fancy-schmancy organisation called the International Astronomical Unit has been debating how to define a planet. And yesterday they apparently reached a conclusion.

Thus, as of August 24, 2006, Pluto is not a planet, but a dwarf planet. Not only that, but the asteroid Ceres in the asteroid belt is now also a dwarf planet, as is 2003 UB₃₁₃, who apparently is larger than Pluto.
Adding insult to injury, Pluto's moon Charon may be promoted so that Pluto and Charon may be considered a binary planet system. Man, Pluto just can't catch a break this week, it seems.

This is an outrage! School curricula throughout the world will have to be changed. I feel as if everything I've been taught is a lie. How can I now trust anything our teachers have told us? Heck, is this even English I'm writing? For all I know, it might actually be Azerbaijani.
This brings back memories from second grade. No, not about being beat up by sinister third graders, I've repressed all that. Through the kindness of the Finnish educational system, we had just received brand spanking new atlases. Like all good atlases, it contained maps of the world. Then the Soviet Union folded, and about half of the atlas was invalidated. This was the early 90s and Finland was deep in a recession, so we were freaking stuck with those atlases for years! Heck, with Czechoslovakia splitting up and Yugoslavia descending into chaos, the damn thing gradually became even more inaccurate!

Well, uh, my condolences to Pluto and its relatives. Because, clearly, if I was a trans-Neptunian object, I'd be very concerned with what the ants living six planets over are calling me.<sup>[2]

[1]</sup> Eeh, close enough.
^[2] Yes, self-aware planets are part of my belief system. Haven't you people read Solaris?^[3]
[3] Well, okay, I haven't actually read it either, but I've seen the movie!^[4]
[4] Well, okay, I haven't actually seen the original Tarkovsky classic either, but I've seen the American remake!

Pac-Man: Destroying Our Children?

Via Slashdot^[1], I found this rather interesting article. A Dr. Kimberly Thompson of Harvard University testified in front a congressional subcommittee investigating violence in video games and the current ratings system in use, and she cited a study in which they concluded that one of the most classic video games, Pac Man, contained 62% violence. That is, according to the article, during a 90 minute period of game play, the player engages in violent behaviour during 62% of that time; 56 minutes out of 90. Plenty of other classic games turns out to be rather violent as well, such as Centipede (93%) and Digg Dugg (67%) (interestingly enough, Ms. Pac-Man turned out to be only 54% violent).
Aaron Stanton, the author of the article, seems mystified as to how that can be, and argues the study is flawed, stating

The results of the study deviate so much from what the average person would consider to be significant violence that the results are almost inconsequential. Still, this is the research that the U.S. Senate is listening to when deciding if the ESRB system should be revamped, and the gaming community should be paying attention.

Dr. Thompson responded in an interview at Joystiq.com. Here's some choice quotes:

We only played and coded some older arcade games because we were interested in examining the progression from abstract and repetitive portrayals of violence in early video games to more realistic portrayals in modern video games.

We have never and would never use the percentage of violent game play to make a ridiculous claim that a game like The Legend of Zelda is more "violent" than a game like Grand Theft Auto: Vice City...

As we have noted in our papers, people can reasonably disagree with us, but we did not believe that it was consistent to not count this as violence even though it is quite abstract.

So, all in all, a big hubbub over absolutely nothing. A tempest in a teapot, if you will. Perfect fodder for a blog entry, in other words!
That said, of course, I wouldn't trust the US Senate all too much when it comes to subject matters relating to computers and technology. The President pro Tempore of said legislative body and chairman of the Commerce Committee just recently compared the Internet to a series of tubes, after all.

^[1] Yeah, yeah, tell me something I don't know.

A Royal Presidency?

According to this article in The Independent, the current frontrunner for next year's French presidential elections is Ségolène Royal of the French Socialist Party (PS), who, if elected, would be France's first woman president. The article goes on to cite a poll in which Royal would defeat the main right-wing contender, Minister of the Interior and Douchebag-at-large Nicolas Sarkozy (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP) 55% - 42%.
It remains to be seen if the French left can get its act together, however. 2002's elections was a rather embarrassing affair, with extremist right-wing bigot Jean-Marie Le Pen inching out then Prime Minister Lionel Jospin (PS) to move on to the second round. Royal hasn't formally announced her candidacy yet, and PS won't pick a candidate until November (ironically enough, one of the other possible PS nominees is François Hollande, Royal's spouse), but barring any unforeseen circumstances, she'll very likely be PS's nominee. On the issues she seem alright, if a bit "third way". She's previously been rather conservative on issues relating to homosexuality, but recently promised to introduce a bill legalizing same-sex marriage and adoption, should her party form the next government.
The main criticisms against her seem to be a lack of experience in foreign policy. But what's the worse that could happen when you elect a president with little or no foreign policy experience? Oh...
Seriously, though, after twelve years of this guy, France could use a woman's touch.

The Weekly Box Office Commentary: Motherf**king Snakes Edition

The movie everyone's been waiting for^[1] made its way to theaters this week, and it did...okay. Snakes on a Plane brought in about $14 million, good for second place behind Yet Another Will Ferrell Comedy. Given the early buzz, I would have expected it to do more business (say in the 20 million range), but given that the movie apparently was pretty cheap to produce, it'll bring in a profit, albeit not a big one.

In other box office news, Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Boatloads of Cash crossed $400 million this weekend, and it's going to overtake Spider-Man's gross within a week or so. Whom did Orlando Bloom sell his soul to, is what I wanna know!

Other than that, not a whole lot of interest:

• Oliver Stone's 9/11 flick World Trade Center is doing rather decently
  
• Clerks II came and went without making too much money
• An Inconvenient Truth is now the third highest grossing documentary with about $22 million in the bank. It might make it to $24 million, but not much beyond that
• Miami Vice is doing decently, but could have been much bigger. Breaks my heart, Michael Mann is one of my favourite directors!
• British flick The Descent has been out quite a while on DVD in Europe and opened only a few weeks ago in the US. Usually it's the other way around
  

^[1] Oh, c'mon, pretend.

New Lordi Members, part three

A while ago I set out to line up replacement members for Finnish monster rock superstars Lordi. This to ensure the continued popularity and vitality of the band. After many months of searching all over the world, particularly in Mongolia, I'm now prepared to name another new Lordi member.
And the third replacement is none other than...Zinedine Zidane!

(Zidane's the one in the bottom left corner.)

As you can see from the image, Zidane was extremely happy to be landing this gig!^[1]
Of course, with reports of Fidel Castro being in critical condition, I find myself having to look for a potential replacement for him as well. Man, this band is shedding more members than Kiss! Anyway, I've found an understudy for Fidel, who'll be ready to take over in the event of Castro's death.
The new understudy is...Mel Gibson!

(Gibson is the one in the middle.)

To be continued...

^[1] Not my best Photoshop work, but what the hey! I'm busy, I ain't got all day to work on this stuff!

Bridge over Troubled Waters

Apparently they're constructing a new bridge over the Danube in Budapest, Hungary. And someone thought of the brilliant idea of conducting an online poll to name the bridge. Of course, the international media caught on. Now everyone from Chuck Norris to Steven Seagal is getting votes. Well, obviously there's only one logical choice, especially considering this is a Hungarian bridge.
I'm talking of David "The Hoff" Hasselhoff, of course.
You people think it was Ronald Reagan or John Paul II or Lech Walesa who won the cold war. Bullshit, I say. David Hasselhoff is the man principally responsible for tearing the iron curtain, despite what the revisionists may say.
Currently, however, he only has a paltry 225 votes. What the hell? He's the world's most famous lifeguard, for Pete's sake! Who better to name a bridge after? Clearly, if there's any justice in the world, The Hoff would win this in a landslide. I ask you to join me in making this a reality. Get off your ass and help out The Hoff!

1. Go to http://www.m0hid.gov.hu/vote
2. Select "ABC szerint" to easily find The Hoff
3. Scroll down to and select "David Hasselhoff híd"
4. Scroll all the way down and click "Elküld"

Now, I know my blog has a fairly limited readership, so spread the word! If everyone chips in, he'll win this in no time!

Wesley Snipes: What Went Wrong?

The other day I saw one of Wesley Snipes' latest movies, the straight-to-video b-flick The Marksman. It was quite terrible. It was released in 2005, not a year after the theatrical release of Blade: Trinity, which, while a bit of a disappointment, by no means could be considered a flop. Snipes in fact seems to have made a boatload of stv movies lately, and has several more of them lined up (hint: if an American-produced movie is being shot in Bulgaria, chances are it's a b-movie.). So what gives? How does one go from having a decent Hollywood career to b-movie land within less than year? Other action stars like Jean-Claude van Damme or Steven Seagal suffered a string of box office flops before being relegated to straight-to-video, and someone like Bruce Willis hasn't been able to headline a box office hit in years, but still regularly gets work (and don't get me started on director Uwe Boll!).

Maybe Snipes did burn a few too many bridges over Trinity. Reports of altercations with director David Goyer surfaced during production of the movie, and after its theatrical release Snipes at least threatened to take movie studio New Line to court, alleging breach of contract. That said, plenty of movie stars are, if you pardon my French, pricks. Many of them seem to be doing fine nevertheless (I'll concede that the jury is still on whether Mel Gibson can survive his recent scandal).

Another possible theory, and one I find more likely, is simply a matter of money. Snipes was recently suspected of tax evasion, witholding millions in taxes. Starring in a bunch of these stv flicks is easy money. Even c-movie star Dolph Lundgren receives a million bucks a movie. And his movies generally have a budget of less than five million! Compare that to Snipes' stv movies, which all seems to fall in the 10 - 20 million range, of which at least 10% ought to be Snipes' salary.

Whatever the case may be, Snipes deserved better. Unlike other action stars like Van Damme or Seagal, Snipes had decent acting chops, and regularly appeared in more serious drama movies. Wesley, get over yourself and make Blade IV!

A Solution to the Israel-Lebanon Crisis

A lot has been said about the recent conflict (or should I say, the recent flare-up in a longstanding conflict). My take is rather simple: All people, regardless of nationality, religion or ethnicity have the right to live in peace and prosper. Anyone seeing that happening anytime soon? Yeah, me neither.

The French have been desperately seeking a solution to the crisis, but I think it's time for them to bring out the big guns. They have a secret weapon so immensely powerful it could very well end terrorism as we know it and bring about everlasting peace.

You all know what I'm talking about, right? Yep, you guessed it: Zinedine Zidane. Here's my proposal: We send Zidane to Lebanon, where he proceeds to seek out Hezbollah leader Nasrallah and headbutt him straight in the chest. Hezbollah will be powerless against the ZCD™ (Zisou Chrome Dome™). Crisis solved! Then it's on to Afghanistan to seek out Bin Ladin.

To spare the civilians, my other proposal is that the UN flies in vast amounts of bicycles, and whatever the hell Floyd Landis injected up his ass. There is no rocket or bullet the civilians won't be able to outcycle.

Now, no need to thank me, but this December I better be the recipient of a prestigious award in Oslo, Norway.

People Powered Politics, Connecticut Edition

I've been following American politics for quite a while, and this Tuesday's primary election in the small US state of Connecticut was certainly one of the more interesting events in recent times. In fact, it was so interesting even French TV network TV5Monde reported on it in their nightly newscast last night, much to my surprise.

Three term Democratic senator, 2000 vice-presidential nominee and 2004 presidential candidate Joe Lieberman lost his party's nomination for the midterm elections in November. He lost to a political novice, Ned Lamont, whose only previous experience as a candidate was city politics and a failed bid for the Connecticut state senate.

How does a long-term, scandal-free and relatively popular senator, with the support of the party establishment, lose against a challenger no one's even heard of a year ago, in a country where some 95% of all non-retiring incumbents are re-elected? In fact, this past May, Lieberman led Lamont by an insurmountable 65% - 19%!
Lieberman's almost unconditional support (with some token criticism) of President George W Bush in a time when only about two persons in the entire US actually approve of him couldn't have helped.
Another essential reason is the war in Iraq. As the war has gone from bad to worse to hell on earth, Lieberman is one of few still supporting the war, being enthusiastic about it even. Contrary to conventional wisdown and spin, discontent with the war alone would not been an issue enough to defeat Lieberman. That said, without the war in Iraq, there would have likely not been a primary challenge to begin with.

Of course, one cannot forget the biggest reason for Lieberman's loss: Lieberman. By all accounts, he seemed to have run an extremely inept primary campaign, which included him announcing mid-June that he if he didn't win the primary, he would still run in the general election as an independent, a terrible performance in the primary debate, and generally making statements to the effect that he "owned" his seat in the Senate and that the voters had little right to take it away from him. All in all, not an effective campaign strategy.

The Republican candidate for Senate, Alan Schlesinger, is a non-entity. Not only is Connecticut heavily Democratic, Schlesinger has to fight off a gambling scandal, involving him incuring massive gambling debts under an assumed name. In other words, the winner of the Democratic primary would likely be the winner of the general elections as well.
But the story doesn't quite end there. Lieberman, immediately after conceding the race, announced his candidacy for the election in November, as a candidate for his own newly formed party, "Connecticut for Lieberman", the plan being to win over enough Republicans and independents to win in November. I don't think he has much of a shot, though. A poll taken prior to the primary indicated that in a three-way race, Lamont and Lieberman would be tied at 40% each (and Schlesinger receiving a paltry 13% of the vote). This was before Lamont was a winner and Lieberman was a loser, and this was before the entire Democratic establishment unconditionally backed Lamont (by virtue of him winning the primary). Lieberman has also lost most of his Democratic campaign staff, and building a new staff from scratch with only a few months to go will be a difficult task indeed.

Back from Vacation

As promised, I only posted sporadically, if at all, during my vacation time. Well, back to business. There's a lot going at the moment, so my postings may be somewhat infrequent for a while still, but hopefully I'll manage to spare a few moments on writing future entries. One of those future entries will feature Jean-Claude van Damme. Stay tuned. Or not.