Wesley Snipes: What Went Wrong?

The other day I saw one of Wesley Snipes' latest movies, the straight-to-video b-flick The Marksman. It was quite terrible. It was released in 2005, not a year after the theatrical release of Blade: Trinity, which, while a bit of a disappointment, by no means could be considered a flop. Snipes in fact seems to have made a boatload of stv movies lately, and has several more of them lined up (hint: if an American-produced movie is being shot in Bulgaria, chances are it's a b-movie.). So what gives? How does one go from having a decent Hollywood career to b-movie land within less than year? Other action stars like Jean-Claude van Damme or Steven Seagal suffered a string of box office flops before being relegated to straight-to-video, and someone like Bruce Willis hasn't been able to headline a box office hit in years, but still regularly gets work (and don't get me started on director Uwe Boll!).

Maybe Snipes did burn a few too many bridges over Trinity. Reports of altercations with director David Goyer surfaced during production of the movie, and after its theatrical release Snipes at least threatened to take movie studio New Line to court, alleging breach of contract. That said, plenty of movie stars are, if you pardon my French, pricks. Many of them seem to be doing fine nevertheless (I'll concede that the jury is still on whether Mel Gibson can survive his recent scandal).

Another possible theory, and one I find more likely, is simply a matter of money. Snipes was recently suspected of tax evasion, witholding millions in taxes. Starring in a bunch of these stv flicks is easy money. Even c-movie star Dolph Lundgren receives a million bucks a movie. And his movies generally have a budget of less than five million! Compare that to Snipes' stv movies, which all seems to fall in the 10 - 20 million range, of which at least 10% ought to be Snipes' salary.

Whatever the case may be, Snipes deserved better. Unlike other action stars like Van Damme or Seagal, Snipes had decent acting chops, and regularly appeared in more serious drama movies. Wesley, get over yourself and make Blade IV!

A Solution to the Israel-Lebanon Crisis

A lot has been said about the recent conflict (or should I say, the recent flare-up in a longstanding conflict). My take is rather simple: All people, regardless of nationality, religion or ethnicity have the right to live in peace and prosper. Anyone seeing that happening anytime soon? Yeah, me neither.

The French have been desperately seeking a solution to the crisis, but I think it's time for them to bring out the big guns. They have a secret weapon so immensely powerful it could very well end terrorism as we know it and bring about everlasting peace.

You all know what I'm talking about, right? Yep, you guessed it: Zinedine Zidane. Here's my proposal: We send Zidane to Lebanon, where he proceeds to seek out Hezbollah leader Nasrallah and headbutt him straight in the chest. Hezbollah will be powerless against the ZCD™ (Zisou Chrome Dome™). Crisis solved! Then it's on to Afghanistan to seek out Bin Ladin.

To spare the civilians, my other proposal is that the UN flies in vast amounts of bicycles, and whatever the hell Floyd Landis injected up his ass. There is no rocket or bullet the civilians won't be able to outcycle.

Now, no need to thank me, but this December I better be the recipient of a prestigious award in Oslo, Norway.

People Powered Politics, Connecticut Edition

I've been following American politics for quite a while, and this Tuesday's primary election in the small US state of Connecticut was certainly one of the more interesting events in recent times. In fact, it was so interesting even French TV network TV5Monde reported on it in their nightly newscast last night, much to my surprise.

Three term Democratic senator, 2000 vice-presidential nominee and 2004 presidential candidate Joe Lieberman lost his party's nomination for the midterm elections in November. He lost to a political novice, Ned Lamont, whose only previous experience as a candidate was city politics and a failed bid for the Connecticut state senate.

How does a long-term, scandal-free and relatively popular senator, with the support of the party establishment, lose against a challenger no one's even heard of a year ago, in a country where some 95% of all non-retiring incumbents are re-elected? In fact, this past May, Lieberman led Lamont by an insurmountable 65% - 19%!
Lieberman's almost unconditional support (with some token criticism) of President George W Bush in a time when only about two persons in the entire US actually approve of him couldn't have helped.
Another essential reason is the war in Iraq. As the war has gone from bad to worse to hell on earth, Lieberman is one of few still supporting the war, being enthusiastic about it even. Contrary to conventional wisdown and spin, discontent with the war alone would not been an issue enough to defeat Lieberman. That said, without the war in Iraq, there would have likely not been a primary challenge to begin with.

Of course, one cannot forget the biggest reason for Lieberman's loss: Lieberman. By all accounts, he seemed to have run an extremely inept primary campaign, which included him announcing mid-June that he if he didn't win the primary, he would still run in the general election as an independent, a terrible performance in the primary debate, and generally making statements to the effect that he "owned" his seat in the Senate and that the voters had little right to take it away from him. All in all, not an effective campaign strategy.

The Republican candidate for Senate, Alan Schlesinger, is a non-entity. Not only is Connecticut heavily Democratic, Schlesinger has to fight off a gambling scandal, involving him incuring massive gambling debts under an assumed name. In other words, the winner of the Democratic primary would likely be the winner of the general elections as well.
But the story doesn't quite end there. Lieberman, immediately after conceding the race, announced his candidacy for the election in November, as a candidate for his own newly formed party, "Connecticut for Lieberman", the plan being to win over enough Republicans and independents to win in November. I don't think he has much of a shot, though. A poll taken prior to the primary indicated that in a three-way race, Lamont and Lieberman would be tied at 40% each (and Schlesinger receiving a paltry 13% of the vote). This was before Lamont was a winner and Lieberman was a loser, and this was before the entire Democratic establishment unconditionally backed Lamont (by virtue of him winning the primary). Lieberman has also lost most of his Democratic campaign staff, and building a new staff from scratch with only a few months to go will be a difficult task indeed.

Back from Vacation

As promised, I only posted sporadically, if at all, during my vacation time. Well, back to business. There's a lot going at the moment, so my postings may be somewhat infrequent for a while still, but hopefully I'll manage to spare a few moments on writing future entries. One of those future entries will feature Jean-Claude van Damme. Stay tuned. Or not.

People Powered Politics

Wow. Now that's a demonstration!
Depicted on the image to the left^[1] is just a scant few of the 2.4 million who were out demonstrating in Mexico this past Sunday.
They were out marching in favour of leftist presidential candidate Andrés Manuel López Obrador, who lost by 0.58% against right-wing conservative candidate Felipe Calderón a few weeks ago (López Obrador got 35.31% to Calderón's 35.89%, the difference being approximately 244,000 votes out of about 30 million votes cast between the two candidates, according to the official count). López Obrador has not accepted defeat, however, alleging irregularities in the voting process and hence demanding a recount. Florida 2000 anyone?
The outcome will ultimately be decided by a special tribunal called Tribunal Electoral del Poder Judicial de la Federación, whose primary purpose is deciding electoral disputes. Certifying the validity of the presidential elections also falls within its jurisdiction, and it's within the tribunal's discretion to order a recount or an entirely new election.

2.4 million. Mexico has about 107 million inhabitants, meaning approximately 2.2% of the entire Mexican population was out demonstrating. I wonder what, if anything, could inspire that kind of passion in 2% of the Finnish population...oh yeah, Lordi. Though, perhaps that's a sign of just how well off we are in Finland...or how bad things are in Mexico. Whoever ends up winning the elections certainly has his work cut out for him.

The Wikipedia entry has more information on the elections.

^[1] Update: The picture was removed from the website I was linking to, so I removed it here as well.

Vacation

Yours truly goes on a well-earned vacation, so for the next couple of weeks I will only be posting sporadically, if at all. Everyone have a great summer!

Seacrest out. No, wait...surely I could think of a better sign-off than that. Hm...eh...hmm...aahh...
Good night, and good luck? Nah....hmm...
Take care of yourselves, and each other? Eeh....
...aah, what the heck. Seacrest out.

Newt Gingrich: Jackass

Is there a bigger jackass in politics today than Newt Gingrich? I mean, apart from every other politician.
He rose to fame as the brains behind the Republican take-over of the US congress in 1994. He was subsequently elected Speaker of the House and made Time Magazine's Man of the Year. It's all downhill from there. After a government shutdown, ethics charges and leading the charge to impeach Clinton, all the while having an affair himself, he resigned from the house altogether in 1998.

Okay, this is all well and good (and lord knows I left out some of the nastier stuff about his personal life, which can be found elsewhere), although it's nothing new. However, these recent comments (via Political Wire) about the conflicts in the Middle East are new:

Gingrich said in the coming days he plans to speak out publicly, and to the administration, about the need to recognize that America is in World War III.
...
"This is World War III," Gingrich said. And once that's accepted, he said calls for restraint would fall away...
...
There is a public relations value, too. Gingrich said that public opinion can change "the minute you use the language" of World War III. The message then, he said, is "'OK, if we're in the third world war, which side do you think should win?"

My God. People are dying left and right, and this guy's worrying about the PR value? How brazenly cynical a human being must one be to think of death and destruction in those terms? Can such a person even qualify as a human being? I'm by no means a naïve person and I'm well aware that politics is a dirty business, but this really takes the cake.
So, thought of the day: Newt Gingrich is a jackass.

Defeat of the Will

According to an article in Sweden's premiere tabloid rag (which is in Swedish, of course), a researcher at the Max Planck Institute for Neurological Research, Wolf Singer, contends that a criminal can not be held responsible for the crimes he committed, as human beings do not possess free will, at least not in the sense it's commonly understood.

All the choices we make are the result of a pre-determined biological chain of events, with the choice being made before we're even aware of it. In a sense we are programmed by our upbringing and other environmental factors to react in a predictable manner to choices we are to make. A criminal is a human being with a faulty programming.

I'm neither a neurobiologist nor a philosopher. I am a blogger, though, which is all the credentials one needs in this day and age.
What little I know of how the brain functions, Singer's proposition of us being programmed to act a certain way makes sense.
And, as an aside, clearly there's something not quite right in the head of a murderer.

But "criminals can't helpt it" as an approach to lawmaking doesn't seem particularly smart at all. Not guilty of shoplifting due to insanity? Although, it might make for a viable defense, should the MPAA come a knockin'...

Things I Got Wrong

I have a habit of predicting things, being dead positive the future will prove me right. My areas of expertise are near infinite, as I dabble in politics, sports, entertainment, science, you name it. Unfortunately, more often than not, my predictions turn out to be dead wrong. Which brings us to this very blog entry. Here's a list of embarrassing predictions I've made in recent years:

• John Kerry would win the US presidential elections in a landslide
• Germany would make it to the World Cup finals
  
• Sauli Niinistö would narrowly win the Finnish presidential elections
• The Matrix Reloaded would be a great movie
• Paul Giamatti would win the best supporting actor Oscar. C'mon, George Clooney?!?
• There's no chance in hell that Finland would ever win the Eurovision
  

What can I say? Oops.

TUMotW: Below

Previous installments: Spartan, The Core

This week's movie: Below
Directed by David Twohy
Written by Lucas Sussman, Darren Aronofsky and David Twohy
Starring Matthew Davis, Bruce Greenwood, Olivia Williams, Scott Foley

Below is a world war II submarine horror movie. That sounds like a recipe for disaster, but it actually works quite well. The pedigree of the makers are not bad: David Twohy also wrote the movie adaptation of The Fugitive and directed the decent horror sci-fi flick Pitch Black (and its spectacularly crappy sequel The Chronicles of Riddick). Co-writer Aronofsky is of course an indie movie favourite whose other movies include Pi and Requiem for a Dream. Leading man Bruce Greenwood is of course a personal acting favourite, having starred in several excellent, but tragically underappreciated, features.

Clearly someone involved in the movie pissed off someone at distributor Dimension, as the movie only got a severely limited theatrical release. The movie went on to make about two bucks in theaters. Which is a pity, because this movie deserved better.

The plot is relatively straight-forward: a US submarine rescues the crew of a sunken battleship. Strange events begin to unfold aboard the submarine. Unlike many horror movies these days, Below doesn't go for all out gore and sheer explicitness. In fact, there's really only one jump-out-of-your-seat moment in the entire movie. The rest of the movie is spent subtly building up a creepy, uneasy atmosphere, greatly enhanced by the claustrophobic setting of a submarine.

Overall a highly enjoyable and well made movie.

Album of the Month: Music for the Divine

Glenn Hughes
Music for the Divine
2006, Frontiers Records

Produced by Glenn Hughes and Chad Smith

Glenn Hughes is a man who hardly needs any introduction, though I'm about to give a brief one nevertheless. Hughes is one of the best singers in the music business. He's perhaps most famous for singing and playing the bass on three of Deep Purple's best albums^[1], Burn, Stormbringer and Come Taste the Band during the mid-seventies. His career following his departure from Purple has been a bit of a mixed bag, but since the early 90s he's been regularly and consistently releasing solid solo albums. Favourites of mine include 1994's AOR masterpiece From Now On and last year's Soul Mover. To that list I'd like to add Hughes' latest album, Music for the Divine.

Music for the Divine builds and refines on the direction Hughes took with Soul Mover, which features a more funk rock approach than earlier Hughes records, though Hughes is certainly no stranger in that genre. Given the involvement of Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith, who co-produced both albums, the funkier style should perhaps not be particularly surprising.
Stand-out tracks include opener The Valiant Denial, Steppin' On, You Got Soul and Black Light.

Glenn Hughes' fantastic singing voice, the excellence of the other musicians involved and the impeccable song writing all come together to create not only the album of the month, but one of the musical highlights of 2006. Highly recommended stuff, and essential to all fans of good rock music.

^[1] In my humble opinion, MkII fans need not freak out

LotW: Kumyk

Previous installments: Occitan, Luxembourgish, Catalan, Faroese

As you can see by the previous entries, LotW has thus far been rather eurocentric. Not only that, but the languages presented thus far have perhaps not been particularly obscure, but are in fact quite well known. In an effort to counter that, it's time to head out east for this week's language: Kumyk.

Kumyk is a Turkic language, spoken primarily in the troubled Russian republic of Dagestan (okay, technically that's still in Europe, but it's a step in the right direction). It's spoken by some 300,000 people in that region and in small communities in Chechnya, Turkey, Syria and Iran. There are several closely related languages spoken in nearby regions, such as Nogai and Karachay-Balkar. Kumyk has also been heavily influenced by the major languages of the region, such as Azerbaijani and Russian, and bears many a ressemblance with Turkish (which is hardly surprising, given its classification as a Turkic language).

Both the Cyrillic and Latin alphabets are currently in use when writing Kumyk; by 2010 it's planned that the Latin alphabet will be used exclusively. Written Kumyk has at time also used the Arabic alphabet. The Latin alphabet currently in use are based on the Turkish alphabet, containing such special characters as ş and ğ.

The Rosetta Project has samples of Kumyk, along with grammar and orthography.
The English Wikipedia entry consists of about three sentences, so this time I suggest brushing up on your German instead. In what appears to be Russian I also found this article, which may be of use to some (ironically it appears to have been written by a Finn).

Giving Head

So you're one of the best football players in the world. You've won a World Cup, a European Cup, a Champions League, the Spanish League, the Italian League, and numerous individual player accolades. You're in another World Cup final, which also happens to be your last game. The game is dead even and you're one of the key players, if not the key player. Your place in football history being secure, how do you go out in style, in a way people are not soon to forget?

Apparently you lunge head first right into an opposing team member's chest. I don't know what Materazzi (the lungee) said to Zidane (the lunger), but clearly it must have been the mother of all insults. My theory?

Materazzi: - Yo momma so ugly even the US team could score on that ass!

The moral, if there is a moral to be had, is that sports really does bring out the best in all of us. Or not.

The Weekly Box Office Commentary: Holy F***ing S**t! Edition

The weekend estimates are in, and all I can say is wow. Just wow. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is breaking records left and right. Apart from biggest opening weekend ever (at $132 million), it managed biggest opening day ever ($50 million), and if the estimates hold, it'll be the first movie ever to cross the $100 million line in two days. Wow, just wow. Hard to say how much money the flick will ultimately make, but rest assured it will be quite a lot. Though, X-Men: The Last Stand, which also opened to over $100 million earlier this year, took a nasty beating in subsequent weeks, and looks to end up with a comparatively paltry $230 million total. The word of mouth was mixed at best, though; if PotC is better received, $400 million is not out of the question. Non-probable, but not out of the question.

Superman apparently returned a bit too soon, as it took a nasty 58% drop, making "only" $22 million in its second week, for a grand total of $141 million (which PoTC almost made in a mere three days!). Not very good news for what supposedly is the world's most famous comic book character. Here's a brief list of superheroes beating Superman: Batman, Spider-Man, X-Men, Jesus.

An Inconvenient Truth is chugging along, having moved up to fourth highest grossing documentary, at about $15 million. At some point a few months ago I made the prediction it would end up with about $25 million, good for third place overall, which I think will hold.

In other box office news, the star power that is David Hasselhoff propels Click over the $100 million, making it the Hoff's second $100 million hit in a row, following 2004's Dodgeball.

TUMotW: The Core

Previous installments: Spartan

This week's flick: The Core
Directed by Jon Amiel
Written by Cooper Layne and John Rogers
Starring Hilary Swank, Aaron Eckhart, Stanley Tucci, Delroy Lindo, Bruce Greenwood, DJ Qualls

I get the feeling my entire blog readership (yeah, both of you) is having a WTH?^[1] moment right about now. But hear me out.
Don't get me wrong. The plot is ridiculous. Here's a brief run-down:

1. The earth's core stops spinning
2. Shit happens
3. A crack team of scientists decides to nuke the core into spinning
4. More shit happens
5. Saved!

This is essentially a big budget b-movie^[2]. It's a fun, stupid movie with a stellar cast, including the great Stanley Tucci and the tragically underrated Bruce Greenwood^[3], who unfortunately snuffs it about half way through the flick^[4].

This movie essentially belongs in the same category as fellow disaster movie Armageddon: it's not high art, but it's a good way to kill a couple of hours.

^[1] What the Hasselhoff?
^[2] b₃m?
^[3] Who also stars in several upcoming installments of TUMotW...
^[4] Spoiler? I'll give you a spoiler: at the end, Bruce Willis realises he's been dead through the entire movie. I'm not saying which movie, though.

World Cup Fever. Don't Catch It.

So we got two finalists. Ample time for petit moi to jump on the football bandwagon!

I always thought Germany would get to the finals, unless they met Brazil on the way there, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

As for France, I thought they were down for the count until they beat Spain. Then, after beating Brazil, there was little doubt in my mind they'd make it the finals. Don't get me wrong, I was definitely rooting for Portugal in the semifinals. We all love the underdogs.

Also, as for football being the world's sport, looks more like it's Europe's sport, after both Argentina and Brazil getting the boot in the quarter finals.

So, for the finals. I'm rooting for France. No particular reason why, other than to stick it to all the France bashers out there.
And then I can go back to not caring about football for another four years. Or two, the Eurocup is coming up...

The Weekly Box Office Commentary

Happy July 5th! No one celebrating July 5th? Okay then.
The latest box office numbers are in, and apparently Superman has returned, bringing in 74 million over the extended weekend^[1]. About time too, apparently the movie has been in the making for some 10 years and ended up costing 260 million dollars (of which at least 100 million had been spent before filming even began!). It doesn't beat the two Spider-Man flicks or the latest X-Men one, but it's a not too shabby number nevertheless.

An Inconvenient Truth brought in $2.6 million, moving the Truth up to the fifth highest grossing documentary of all time.

Other than that, not too much of interest. Other than The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift is making way too much money. I opted out of that franchise after...the first movie, and the idea that the box office returns may well secure the production of a fourth fast and furious flick...oh, the horror, the horror.

^[1] July 4th is Independence Day in the US, making Friday - Tuesday a five day weekend.

LotW: Faroese

Previous installments: Occitan, Luxembourgish, Catalan

We've ended up in the North Atlantic for this week's language of the week: Faroese.

Faroese is a Germanic language, or more specifically a West Scandinavian language, spoken primarily on the Faroe Islands and by Faroese expats in Denmark (The Faroe Islands is an autonomous region of Denmark). There's also a sizable minority of Faroese-speakers on Iceland. All told, about 80.000 - 90.000 people world wide speak Faroese.
Thanks to the remote location of the Faroe Islands, the Faroese language has evolved quite differently than mainland Danish, Swedish or Norwegian from the (now extinct) old Norse language, which was the common ancestor language spoken in Scandinavia during the Viking ages. Faroese grammar is relatively similar to Icelandic and old Norse, although the three are quite different when spoken. The same also holds true for the nynorsk dialect of Norwegian.

Although Danish, Swedish and Norwegian are pretty much mutually intelligible, this does not extend to Icelandic and Faroese, and Icelandic and Faroese are not typically mutually intelligible either.

For further reading, check out the English Wikipedia entry, or the Faroese one if you feel so inclined.

New Lordi Members, part two

About a month ago I took it upon me to, for the well-being of the Finnish music industry, replace all members in Finnish superstar rock band and surprise Eurovision 2006 winners Lordi. Clearly winning the Eurovision is bound to go to their heads, so we might as well line up replacements now, so we're prepared for the inevitable split.

Clearly Finland's only chance of ever winning the Eurovision again is to let Lordi represent us once more. I'm just doing my part to make sure Lordi is still around for next year's debacle in Helsinki.

So, without further ado, the second replacement is...Ann Coulter.

(Coulter's the one in the bottom right corner.)

To be continued...

"Some Mother******s Are Always Trying to Ice-Skate Uphill"

Apparently Blade: The TV Series premieres tonight in the US. I quite like the Blade trilogy of movies, particularly Blade II. If you're not familiar with the Blade movies, Blade is a half-man, half-vampire, who runs around killing vampires, equipped with various forms of high-tech gadgetry. What can I say, it's a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. I know some people are not particularly fond of Wesley Snipes^[1], who stars as Blade in all three movies, but he does quite well for himself in that role^[2].

I'm not sure about this TV series though. For one thing, it stars one Kirk 'Sticky Fingaz' Jones, a former(?) rapper, as Blade. Now, I'm not familiar with Jones' work as a rapper or as an actor, but picking 'Sticky Fingaz' as your artist name certainly raises some quality concerns. Besides that, what else is there to do storywise? In Blade: Trinity, Blade fought against Dracula (ably portrayed by Dominic Purcell and various forms of CGI). Where are you going to go after that? Fighting off Predators?

I'll definitely watch the series whenever it airs in Finland^[3], but I'm not expecting much.

^[1] Whose career has since been lost to the ravages of straight-to-video
^[2] Okay, the Blade character is not much of a stretch actingwise, but you have to admire a guy who gets paid to act like a prick. Isn't that everyone's dream job?
^[3] It should premiere on Finnish television in a couple of years, if ever...